Disappearance in Midday or, A Woman of Color vs Princeton Police

Morning all, and happy Black History Month. It’s chugging along, isn’t it? As I sit here, half in wonder of the reactions to Beyonce’s insta-hit “Formation” and some old man named Romanowski who called the Panthers’ Cam Newton a “boy,” something much more personal weighs on me.

It didn’t happen to me. But it could have. Instead, it happened to a friend and peer, a roommate from college, a mother and professor, author and activist. She was not allowed a phone call, was taken to a police station, and handcuffed to a table…for a parking ticket. I urge you to read her story, presented to you without edits, and share it. When they ask us why we “get to have” Black History Month, it’s because of stories like these. Because this still happens. Because I blinked and woke up in a police state.

*** Continue reading “Disappearance in Midday or, A Woman of Color vs Princeton Police”

Downward dogs, cheese plates, and bittersweet chocolate: Ah, February

I didn’t think I wanted to write about or around Valentine’s Day. I wasn’t sure how a post might be perceived: bitter? annoying? bitchy? At the moment, I feel pleasantly glad for my friends in relationships. Yet it’s a hard day to ignore. It’s Black History Month too, but 90% of what I see online is about creative ways to  seduce your partner, links to buy heart-shaped candy, and deals on last-minute romantic getaways. Maybe in an alternate universe, there are pop-up ads with airfare deals to DC to see the MLK memorial. But I’m stuck in this one, where no one’s selling black history, so I’ll keep my focus narrowed for this particular post.

I’m single at the moment. I’m OK with this now; I wasn’t always. I think relationships are wonderful, vital, meaningful, and I hope to be in one again. Thankfully, though, I’ve moved past the stage where every day of single life is another rumbling bell toll toward a solitary death. That stage—experienced mostly in my 20s—was awful. Lots of tears, self-critiquing, jealousy of other women and couples in general, and moaning, “Whyyyyyyy?” to a pitiless God. I’m not sure when and how I moved past it; all I can say is like anything else, it got easier with time. I’m an only child, which probably helped; I’m already accustomed to and comfortable in the quietness of my own company. Without a boyfriend, what was there to do? Simply, everything I would do with one.  Some may find me quirky (fine, substitute your own word here, but be  gentle) but if my friends or family aren’t free, I dine, see movies, travel alone—things aren’t put on pause because no one’s responding to me on Match.

This leads me into the fantastic, gruesome, awesome world of Internet dating. Wowza!
Continue reading “Downward dogs, cheese plates, and bittersweet chocolate: Ah, February”