General Writing

Uncooked holidays & breaking the drill

O. M. G.

What the HELL has been going on in here? I go away for a few days, come back, and LOOK at this joint! Clothes on the floor everywhere, dishes in the sink, makeup all over the bathroom, and in–come again? I left it this way? I see… Let me, ah, pick up a few things, ha ha, have a seat.

I hope everyone had a restful, easy holiday. My family of three certainly did. We got a dud turkey (expensive and totally unseasoned), plus undercooked green beans and unsalted, pudding-like gravy. But I spoke to the manager on Saturday and promptly got a second free, yummy turkey. My mom ominously noted, “Remember, [the manager] can get spicy.” I replied, “Have you MET me?!” I didn’t feel I should push as hard for the sides; my mom thought the gravy and greens were just as relevant. As I was the one marching out as Turkey Ambassador, I came down on the side of the main dish. I gave kudos to the manager for clearing up the matter with a quick “Come get a new one on the house at anytime today.” My mom thinks the unspoken part of this exchange was “We always f*ck up on Thanksgiving, so take a turkey and don’t go to Twitter or Facebook calling us out.” And guess what? She was diplomatic, and I didn’t call her out. I am, however, on my sixth day of eating turkey. I ran out of sides two days back and store owners looked at me funny when I asked for stuffing & cranberry sauce post-holiday.


7 thoughts on “Uncooked holidays & breaking the drill”

  1. Nira – this is SO awesome. I don’t read many blogs and I tend to read the ones I do at 4am in the morning when I am having work/child/bill-related insomnia. Yours actually made me stop my day and read…and breath. You’re so observant and irrevant. There is a TV show out there with your name on it… So happy to be one of your new followers! Much love Soror…


    1. Aw thanks! I appreciate anyone reading it… And yes, I got notice of your ‘following’ status today, thanks so much! It really does tickle me that I’m
      not the only one reading it, lol. Enjoy~


  2. Your blog would be my late afternoon cup of coffee (if I drank it like that…lol) Thanks for the pick me up! I laughed out loud!!!


  3. GOOD MORNING, Ms. Turkey Ambassador!
    This is some real and funny stuff. Love the way you write! Looking forward to your observations on those pissy fifth graders. LOL


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